


Literary Stray Dogs Club

by NepetaLeijon27



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crossover, Custom css, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Literature, POV Second Person, Reader-Interactive, References to Canon, Spoilers, references to real life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-01-24 08:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NepetaLeijon27/pseuds/NepetaLeijon27
Summary: Will you write the way into his heart?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look for underlined text - when that is the case, it is linked to the soundtrack I thought would be nice for the scene. In the case of snippets, the links will lead to the place where they can be found too. Best viewed on a desktop browser due to the handwriting! The writing seriously looks bad on phone - I know that because I tried. Also, to assure you've got a perfect impression of us, don't use the [next chapter] button. After each route there will be a link to the supposed next chapter when it's there. Thank you! ~Dazai

'H-hey, would you slow down a little?'

[You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPR_te_ODPQ) suddenly hear the rushed voice of someone behind you. You turn around, to see a white-haired boy who looks like he's out of breath. 

'Hey, Atsushi! Nice to see you. You look like you've been trying to keep up with me.'

'Hhh, yeah, I need to work on my condition...I guess.', Atsushi shrugs and pushes the topic away. 'I thought that meeting you on our way to school would be nice. And hey, did you think about what I said to you yesterday?'

You readjust your backpack a little. 'Hmm...', you start. Yesterday, Atsushi was asking if you would like to join an afterschool club, since almost all students are in one. And since the year has just started, most of the clubs are too. 'I was, but well, kendo is too intensive for me and I don't know if I'm cut out for the debate club...' 

'You've got time, I'm not rushing you or anything.', Atsushi waves his hands in front of him. 'But I'm just throwing another option out there. You know Dazai from the debate club, right?'

You nod. You remember that previous year, he was, like Atsushi says correctly, in the debate club. 'What about him?'

'Well, there's this rumor going around that he's going to quit.', he explains. 'Supposedly to start a new club, in the former classroom where the debate club moved out of.' 

'Ooh!', You slowly nod. 'What's it about, or...'

'Literature. Turns out he's really into the subject, and since I've already written some stories from when I was going to Oceania, i've already contacted Dazai about it. He's gonna be president, but I'm gonna be his right hand as vice-president!', Atsushi sees that you have almost reached the school. 'Think about it!' He then leans close to you, and whispers in your ear: 'And we've got sake. Don't tell it to anyone, alcohol is forbidden in the school!' 

Your eyes go bright. You're not too much of a reader or a writer, or even someone who knows about literature, but the offer of sake was quite tempting. '...okay. I think I'll take a look?'

'Great! See you soon!' Atsushi waves you goodbye once he goes to his own class. 

'Take care!' You do too, while the offer is still in your head.

* * *

That afternoon, [ you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh2e9_bGSys) decide to take a look at this supposed literature club - if only to please Atsushi. You know that it is in the former debate club room, and after a short walk through the campus, you arrive in the correct hall. 

'I wonder if there are a lot of people who have signed up yet...', you think as you walk towards the door. 'Well, either way, I'll do Atsushi a big pleasure...he's my childhood friend not for nothing!' Your heart grows warm when you think of Atsushi. With that, you open the door. 

'Oh, it seems like we're getting company! Can you get another glass, Atsushi?' Dazai is standing there, and three other young men are also in the classroom. One of them is Atsushi, but there are two new faces. 

'So, you were the one Atsushi invited?' One of them speaks up. He has fiery red hair and sparkling blue eyes. You absentmindedly think that he's a little on the short side.

'I haven't seen you around, have I?' The other young man has black, short hair with white tips. He has a worryingly pale complexion and dark eyes. 

'N-no, that's true...', In the presence of new people, you were always a little unsure of how to make an impression. 'Atsushi's a childhood friend of mine.'

'That's right!', Atsushi says as he brings Dazai another cup. 'I'm not forcing them for anything, but I just thought it was okay to show them what I'm doing after school.'

You nod nervously. 'Y-yeah...'

The short young man fills the cup with sake and shoves it your way. You sit down behind the desk where he put the cup down on. 

Dazai clears his throat. 'Nice to meet you. My name is Dazai Osamu, as Atsushi may have told you.', He has short brown hair and is the tallest out of all the people in the room. 'I'm the founder and the president of the Literary Stray Dogs club. Has a nice ring to it, eh?' He closes his caramel eyes and smiles. 

'I'm Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, but you can call me Ryuu for shortening's sake.' The young man with pale skin takes a small bow. 

'And my name is Nakahara Chuuya.', The other student does the same. 'I'm the one who brought the sake.'

'Oh, that's nice...I guess?' you say softly. You're still out of your mind about all this. You sure expected some people to apply, but you expected nerds, not this! _ Help_. _This club is filled with cute guys_!

'Like I said, we're a literature club. But you don't need to be a professional writer! It's just that you've gotta like reading, although we all have so our distinct writing styles.', Dazai says. 'I write stories in the I-form myself.'

'I mainly write short stories.', Ryuu adds. 'I like to make people think about them. So most of them have some sort of message in them.'

'I prefer poems myself.', Chuuya latches on the topic. 'You know dadaism, right?' You nod a little, although you've only heard the term in passing. 'That.'

'And I like to write about faraway lands...', Atsushi says. 'But I've already told you about that, right?'

'Yes, you did.', you remember. 'About Oceania and China...'

'True. Wanna read some of the things we've been writing? Part of the charm of the Literature club is that we all promise to write something each day, and then we'll talk about them. Advice on how we can improve, that sort of thing.'

'Oh, sure...' You are curious as to what the others have been writing. [Chuuya](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soGzx912Dm0) hands you a [paper](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/185469616798/dark-gray-seeps-into-the-autumn-sky-the-glint-of). 

** The moment of passing **

Dark gray seeps into the autumn sky-

The glint of a black horse's eye,

A lily's fallen, shriveled flower

O- that the heart would be hollow

There's neither a god nor a guide

For the woman who died beside the window,

Sight was lost in a sky of white

The white wind had a chill to it

Your arm had a certain gentleness when

You washed you hair by the window,

And the morning sun spilled in

To the sound of water dripping slowly

The clamor of the villages once rang high,

The indistinguishable cries of children too,

But then, what will become of this soul?

Fleeting, will it become one with the sky?

You don't know what to think of the poem Chuuya gives you, but after reading some lines another time, you think you...like it? 

'Well, I won't say I don't like it, but it's certainly not something...usual.' you say as you give the paper back to Chuuya, hoping you won't hurt his feelings.

'I can't say it's the first time I heard it.', Chuuya shrugs. 'I'm planning to bundle some of my poems in a book. I've already decided what to name it - 'Sheep Songs'.' 

[Ryuu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IouRAE31yg) suddenly speaks up. 'I'm currently writing a story called 'Loyalty'.', He grabs his own [paper](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/187856262224/his-shoulders-felt-painfully-stiff-his-head) from his pocket and unfolds it. 'This is the most recently written snippet.' He hands it to you.

His shoulders felt painfully stiff. His head ached. He could not even apply himself to his reading, normally one of his favorite activities. The mere sound of footsteps in the corridor or of voices in the house was enough to break his concentration. As the symptoms grew more severe, the tiniest stimuli kept preying on his nerves. Shuri could do nothing but cower in his room all day, scowling. Anything and everything he did was painful. He often wished that he could end his awareness of his own existence, but his splintered nerves did not permit that . He felt like an ant in a pit, struggling to crawl out of the sand flowing hellishly in on him. 

Once you finish reading it, you shiver. 'That's...really cool, Ryuu.', you say. 'I can really feel what the person in this perspective is feeling. It's terribly realistic.' You put the paper back on Ryuu's desk, and he folds it back into his pocket. 

'Thank you.', he says, but he looks away. Something about him says you that he's not all that used to talking to people like this. 'It's still a work-in-progress, like I said, but...it's nice to hear that, I think...'

'I guess it's my turn now, huh...', [Dazai](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2TnqJBvbgo) also reveals a [paper](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/187633682043/i-thought-as-long-as-i-can-make-them-laugh-it) from his jacket. 'It's somewhat short, but I think it's okay. It should do. I'm busy with some sort of autobiography. Unlike the others, I haven't thought of a title yet, but..'

'Haah? Aren't you a little young for that?' Chuuya asks, but Dazai shrugs and gives you the snippet. 

'We're the same age.' he says as he rolls his eyes.

I thought, 'As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won't mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.' My activities as jester, a role born of desperation, were extended even to the servants, whom I feared even more than my family because I found them incomprehensible. 

'Is this...really how you feel?', you ask and frown. 'Or...'

'Nah, it's more something of the protagonist.', Dazai walks around and takes his snippet back in the process. 'I was a bit wrong when I said that it'll be an autobiography. Part of it will be inspired by my life, but the protagonist largely stands on himself, only having some superficial similarities to me.' 

'Oh...', You think you know what he means. 'Also, you were right about the I-form. I can see it easily.'

'I guess I'm last, huh...', [Atsushi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBCrHLZUS-A) says, but not with sadness as he gives you his piece of [work](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/188784436192/the-moment-he-understands-where-he-is-he-sees). 'It's a story about China again, and I'm going to name it 'Notes of the monk Wujing'. Nice, isn't it?'

The moment he understands where he is, he sees clearly the path to take. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that he cannot see any other than that path. Like luminous writings in a dark night, only the necessary path floats up; the rest is not to be seen at all. While the slow-witted are stymied, Wukong has already begun the shortest path to his goal. People make much of his bravery and physical strength, taking his extraordinary wisdom little into consideration. But the reason may be that his thought and judgment are so harmoniously blended into his actions. 

You slowly nod as you give it back. 'Hmmm, yeah, this is typically your style.', You say as you see that Atsushi smiles. 'It's not the first time I've read something from you.'

'And? What do you think of it?', Atsushi asks now you have read all snippets and met all members. 'Do you want to join?'

[You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0xGw6nnrdc) think about that for a moment, but you realize that this is the first time a club has sparked your interest. 'Yeah, I think so?', you say carefully. 'I mean, the fact that I've never written a story or a poem, just means that there's room for me to get into it. Right? Right?'

Dazai nods. 'Oh, don't worry. I'll help you all the way.', He smiles. 'Also, it's important to remember what chapter you are on while reading. It saves you a lot of time when you get back to it.'

With that in mind, you grab a notebook and a pen. You don't really have something in mind, or even if it will be a poem or a story. But you've already decided that the animal kingdom is a good starting point.

What animal will you write about?

[Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50816758)

[Dog](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50837242)

[Sheep](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50844373)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Dazai here!
> 
> Welcome to the Literary Stray Dogs club! It's always been something I really wanted, to find people who like writing like this. And now you're a member too, it's time to make this truly worthwhile!
> 
> Every day surely will be full of chit-chat and fun activities with all the members:  
Atsushi, your childhood friend and a little bundle of sunshine;  
Chuuya, our resident poet with a sharp tongue (but with a soft heart);  
Ryuu, the timid student who feels at home in deep stories;  
and of course, Dazai, the club president - which is me!
> 
> I'm already sure that you'll make some friends along the way and help build this place. I can already tell that you're a real sweetheart - will you promise to spend the most time with me?♥


	2. Cat

'Hm-hm. This is really nice!' [Atsushi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBCrHLZUS-A) says as he reads the piece of work you just wrote. You decided to write about a cat who finds a nice home after having walked alone in the rain. 'It's good that you picked up writing.', he compliments you. 'You can come to my house, if you'd like. Our meeting's almost over anyway.'

'Childhood friends...' Ryuu murmurs while he stares a thousand yards away. You think that the concept may be foreign to him.

'Good work, everyone!', Dazai declares. 'See you tomorrow and take care!'

You and Atsushi wave him goodbye as you make your way to Atsushi's house.

'Atsushi, this club is great already!', you say. 'Everyone's really nice!'

Atsushi smiles. 'I didn't offer this to you for no reason.'

'Yeah, I kind of get it now. While everyone is strange to me except for you, I can't say they're not interesting.'

After some time, you have reached Atsushi's house.

'Are you alone today?', you ask, knowing that Atsushi's parents are not always home. 'Or...'

'No, not today.', Atsushi says as he opens the front door. He then shouts: 'I'm home! They're with me again!'

You close the door behind you as you drop off your backpack and put your jacket on the hanger. Atsushi does the same while a voice rings out from the living room.

'Ah, there you are. Where are you going? Upstairs?' 

Atsushi shares a look with you, and you nod. 'Yeah. I won't do anything weird.'

'It's okay.'

He then leads you upstairs towards his bedroom. You sit down on the bed after you close the door. 

'I...just wanted to talk to you. It feels like ages ago.', Atsushi starts. 'And now I've joined this club...this may be a large step towards realizing my dream.'

'Yeah, you can practice your writing here.', you admit. 'I like that we both have found a place where we can feel at home when we're not at home...you know what I mean?'

Atsushi nods. 'I totally know what you mean.', As he says that, he looks down. 'You know, the parents I have now are not my real parents. Not only because I've got two dads, but...' He swallows. You give him the time to search for words. 

'...hh.', He sighs deeply and leans on your shoulder. 'I can tell you this. _Hell_, it's about time I tell you this. You're my childhood friend, but even you don't know where I was born, huh?'

[You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jm0GZgCPNs) shake your head when you realize you don't. '...that's true. I only know that you've been adopted when you were like, three?' You don't exactly know when it was, but you know it was around that age. 

'You're right.', You can hear that Atsushi tries to hold back tears just from his voice. 'My real parents abandoned me. Don't know why. I've never known my birth parents.'

You dearly want to find words to console him, but you don't find any at the moment. You gasp as a result of that.

'They-they put me in that hellhole of an orphanage.', Atsushi looks away from you before closing his eyes. As he does so, you can see a single tear falling down from his left eye. 'I don't remember much from it, but-' He moves his hand to the nape of his neck. You look at the part Atsushi is pointing at only to see a somewhat faded, but large scar. 

'...hh!' In all the years you've been getting to know Atsushi, you wasn't aware of the existence of this scar. 

'Well...that-that's only one of 'em.', Atsushi moves his hand back. 'It's-it's just...hh.' He puts his hands on his knees as you start wiping Atsushi's tears. 

'...what...? You're...' [Atsushi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3srhIS-LCo) is a little surprised by the gesture, but you don't have a single bit of hesitation. 

'Don't cry.', you say. 'What matters is now, not then. What you have now is a home, kind parents and a place where you can work on your future. And, you have me.'

'That...that's right.', Atsushi says, already with a little more confidence. 'You know why I want to be a writer?'

'I-I...', You remember that Atsushi told you once, but the event isn't immediately coming to you. 'Tell me, again. I forgot it, I'm so sorry.'

'There's nothing to be sorry for.', Atsushi shrugs. 'That's just human. No, but writing is a way for me to express myself. Whereas some people do that through drawing or acting, I'm just not that kind of person. I've always had problems with...with connecting to others, y'know, and I've always been afraid that I'm not doing it right, that-that if I'm too vocal about what I think and stuff, that they get angry at me...' 

You think that that may have to do with those first years Atsushi mentioned, but decide to keep that thought for yourself. Instead, you just 'Hm-hm' in agreement.

'And writing...writing is just my way not to face them directly. I think it all started when we were on vacation to Polynesia. But it also may have been China. Those faraway places, I like them and they are the source of the spark of my inspiration. If we didn't travel through them, I don't think I'd ever realize that writing was the ultimate getaway for me.'

You nod. 'I'm not really a reader nor a writer, like I told you before, but I've always admired that about you.', you say, and you see Atsushi's eyes going bright. 'The fact that you're able to pick up inspiration from that despite having a rough start.' 

'I've heard that it's hard making a career as a writer.', Atsushi gets real. 'And I think that is true, in a sense. But I, I've seen hell. I don't think that it can be worse than that.'

You don't know how to answer that, since you don't know what either of the situations is like. But... 

'If you ever decide to get your work published, whether online or in a book or something, know that you've got my blessings and my support.', You put your right hand on your chest. 'I will continue to be your friend whatever happens.'

'Thank...you.' Atsushi blushes.

[The next day...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50846239)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard that Atsushi's parents are two guys called Yukichi and Ougai. Not that I see them that often, sometimes at school when the teacher wants to talk a bit about him. Nothin' much, though. He's also not the only one with two dads, but yeah. ~ Dazai


	3. Dog

'I honestly didn't expect that you'd impress me.' [Ryuu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IouRAE31yg) has read your short work about a dog who has decided that it wanted to move into a different city. In order to, it did a lot to make that obvious to its owner, but when they did move, it turned out to be worse than the city where they lived in initially. 'I can see a message in it, that some changes we want are not always for the better.' 

You nod. 'Y-yeah, deep inside, I was thinking that it may be towards your style.', you admit. 'Want to talk a bit more when we head home?'

'Sure.', he says. 'But we're going to your house, not mine.'

'Is okay with me.' You shrug.

The president thanks you all for your presence and you leave off.

'Do you live far from here?' Ryuu asks as soon as you exit the building.

'No, not that far.', you say. You've walked the same damn road to school for almost two years now. Maybe it doesn't seem that far anymore due to that. 'We'll make it in five minutes with this pace.'

No word is uttered until you reach your house. 'Hm.', Ryuu remarks. 'Not too bad.' You kind of like that Ryuu doesn't think bad of your house, in a strange way. You enter, with the key you had in your pocket since the morning. They gave you the key of the front door because you know sure that they would not return home until the evening. 

'Your parents aren't home?' Ryuu asks, but you can hear at the tone of his voice that he already knows the answer. Regardless, you say:

'True.'

You both take off your shoes and your jackets and you lead him upstairs. 'Don't get any strange ideas.' Ryuu warns you.

'Why would I?', You frown. 'We've only known eachother for about an hour now. We'll only talk about your stories, nothing more and nothing less. I hope, eh, that that didn't sound too harsh?' 

'Nah, it didn't.', Ryuu seems to be okay with it. 'Good.'

As [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xstEJ4noo) enter your bedroom, you close the door behind you. 'I've got some more pieces I want to show you.', Ryuu didn't take off his backpack when he entered the house; you guess this is why. 'Here.'

You instinctively start reading the one facing you immediately. 'Rashoumon', the title reads. 'This is the work I am most proud of.' 

After ten minutes or so, you are done reading it. 'Whew...', you utter. 'That's...heavy. But it's really good. Your style is remarkable. I don't doubt that there are more people who want to read something like this.' 

Ryuu nods. 'I hope so, huh. Either way, there's you. I hope that this piece has made you think about the consequences of such a thought.'

'Hm-hm. Stealing in order to survive, huh...'

'I made it when I was thinking about that.', Ryuu reveals the making-of of the story. 'That's usually how my stories come to be. I pick some sort of moral theme and then think about how I can make it somewhat easier to access for the big public. I don't make my stories too long, because there are a lot of people who have an, ahem, shorter attention span than most.'

'Yeah, I know them...', You think of some people who do indeed have a shorter attention span. 'But that's a really effective method for you, I see, with all these works you've already written...'

'It took me some time to figure it out.', [Ryuu](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdFRBgYqcN4) says. 'But once I got it down, I think I can just work it off like this. And well, I've joined the literature club in order to ask advice and to see how other writers-to-be are doing. What their ways are, so that I can improve on their tips.'

'That's a good motivation. It keeps you going. You want to make this your career, right?', you ask. 'Excuse me if I get it all wrong.'

'No, no, not at all.', Ryuu makes it clear that you're right about this. 'I want to make society think about this without preaching and all. I don't like people who write about fantasy. Yes, I use that sometimes, but that is not my goal. If it helps making my point, then I don't see any reason in why I shouldn't use it.' He gestures a bit, but you get his point clearly.

'Making them think about real life instead. I get'ya.', You nod. 'Have you ever gotten critique? Because I can imagine that people think these stories are too heavy for them.'

'Well, that's bad for them, I guess.', Ryuu tilts his head. 'I can stand critique if it is constructive. If someone just says that my stories are bad, I'll first ask them why. If they don't care to elaborate, then, yeah, I'll just throw them out.'

'Because you know they don't care about anything you write, huh. I know.', You kind of know what Ryuu is talking about, although you've never written before today. 'That's exactly the point of good teachers. Good teachers don't just say that whatever you're doing is bad, but also say why it is bad. It goes in reverse too, actually. They don't just say something's good, but also what's good about it.'

Ryuu sighs. 'You know why I insisted on going to your house?'

You're a bit surprised by this topic hop, but you're flexible enough to say: 'No, why?'

'I'm adopted.', he admits. 'I've got two dads. both writers. Edogawa writes detective fiction, and Edgar writes dark stories much like mine.'

'So you've got that from your parents, huh.', You start to understand why Ryuu picked up writing. 'No surprise then.'

'But I know some people may be prejudiced if it turns out that I've got two dads. I also have a sister, but she's younger than me and she's a year below me at school.', Ryuu mentions. 'Her name is Gin.'

'Oh, then I think I've seen her. Now you say it, it didn't really strike me but when I think of her, I can certainly see the resemblance.' You realize you've seen her before.

'She's not really talkative, but we get along well.', Ryuu says. 'And if no one is there to support me later down the line, I've always got them.'

'Oh, but you've got me too.' You look at his writings, and when you look up at Ryuu, you think you can see him blush a little. Not that he's trying to make it show to you, though...

[The next day...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50846239)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Once you get to know Ryuu, he's sweet. He's just a little cold on the outside. ~Dazai


	4. Sheep

'Ah, a poem! I can already tell that I like this!' 

You decided to write a poem instead of a short story - maybe because you thought they were easier. Although it is a poem, it still has some sort of storyline in it. You chose to make it about a group of sheep that tries going up a mountain without a shepherd. The entire thing doesn't really go okay, but it turns out good in the end. 

'Did you write a poem especially for me?', [Chuuya](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soGzx912Dm0) asks. Thing is, you kind of did...but before you can answer, he continues talking. 'Because that's really considerate.'

'Eh...yeah...', You begrudgingly say. 'I kind of wanted to know how you got into dadaism and stuff...so I tried writing a poem as well.' 

'Well, there's kind of a long story behind that.', Chuuya averts his eyes. 'But I can tell you that better when we're out of here soon.'

And so, you go on with your conversation when you're outside the building. Automatically, you start to walk towards your house - and Chuuya decides to come along. 

'My parents aren't home.', you say. 'So you can hang out at my place if you want.'

'Well, anything's better than there.' Chuuya shrugs and looks down. _ What does he mean with 'there'? It can't be that... _

You enter your house with the key and leave your stuff in the hall. Chuuya does so too, as you both go upstairs to your bedroom. 'Sorry, it's something out of habit.', you say. 'I often go to my bedroom after school. I don't know if you-'

'I'm okay.' Chuuya says with a somewhat hastened tone in his voice.

'You can continue your explanation here either way.' You both sit down on the edge of your bed as [Chuuya](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlkbkFS-ZcA) starts with his story. 

'Okay, so I've got a pretty strict father. He's rich, so that's why I carry his family name. He wants that I become a doctor like him. But I wanna write. I wanna make these poems my work. He doesn't like that. Well, that's kinda an understatement. The worst thing he ever made me do is sleep in the barn. Ugh. So cold. Anyway, like I said, my father's rich. That's how I got the sake.'

'So the poem writing is rebelling against your father, essentially?' You want to know if you have grasped the gist of the story. 

'More or less, yeah.', Chuuya nods slowly. 'But I was kind of unsure as to what I should follow, or if I should follow anything at all when it comes to writing style. Then I came across dadaism. It also started as rebelling against order, as the founders thought order was exactly how wars start. So they kind of throw that out of the window, so to say. It's cool.'

'It certainly leaves you free, yeah.', you say. 'When you don't adhere to a fixed order of words or rhyme, you can pretty much do anything you want. It doesn't have to make sense.'

'Exactly. When all you care about is the aesthetic value of it, I mean, in Layman's terms, the _ feeling _ a line is supposed to give you, you can go a lot of ways. In other words, the _ gravity _ of a phrase. Here's my poem from today. Would you be so kind to read it aloud? You can hopefully get what I mean, then.' He hands you the same piece for the second time today. You fold it open and read the poem aloud like he wants.

When you're done, you give it back to Chuuya. 'I don't know if you noticed, but when you read it like this...some lines, there's a heavy weight in them and you'll wanna read them in a heavy, low voice, like you just did.'

'...huh.', You've never heard this view on poetry before, but you like it. 'I guess...'

'And it's just the inverse with some others, ones that you'll unconsciously read in something that I can best describe as 'lightness'. Do ya get what I meant with 'gravity'?' As Chuuya explains that, you nod. You were a bit puzzled as to how he meant that before, but you now know what it means as you've read the poem aloud. 

'It's an entirely different way to look at it. I like it, I've never heard it before.', you comment. 'This way, it sort of like becomes the controlling of gravity, but then in words.'

When [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8iJwVq5Brc) say that, it is as if the world stops and stares to what you just said. Chuuya looks at you sheepishly, with his bright blue eyes piercing into your soul. This lasts for about ten seconds, before Chuuya averts them from you.

'...eh. Continuing...' he says in a soft voice. You don't know what the heck happened for a second there, but you know you don't have to bring it up again.

'Forgot what I just said. I don't know what that was, but I won't talk about it anymore.' you say. 

'Whatever.', Chuuya shrugs. 'I...I just hope that more people will think of it that way. I've sometimes thought of my poems as possible lyrics for songs. Songs do the same, but accompanied by music and stuff.'

'You're right.', You're relieved enough you're back at the topic and the world finally seems to turn again. 'More people have to know this. The way you view it, it's really unique!'

'That's why I want to break through with this upcoming poem collection of mine.', Chuuya decides. 'Not in the school. I want to get it published. I'll bring my ID so that they don't say that I'm too young. People think that I'm younger than I am in reality, but they will know me for my poems rather than for that!' 

'You're really confident in this, huh.', You smile. 'Good for you. I'll be with you the entire way. Your ideas deserve to be known.'

'Right, huh?', Chuuya tilts his head and you think you can see a faint blush. 'You've earned my trust. How's that?'

[The next day...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50846239)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. Chuuya...what a liar.~Dazai


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh2e9_bGSys) attend the Stray Dogs Literature club as if you've always done it. You're still a bit unsure about this entire 'literature' thing, but the afternoon you've spend with one of the members enlightened you a bit about the subject and made you somewhat more confident that you're going to ace it. As you open the door, you can hear Chuuya and Ryuu.

'What's this about? How many times do I have to tell you that the big public isn't going to understand this?'

'Says the one who writes about moral dillemas. Listen, no one's going to read that heavy shit.'

'Haah?'

You enter the room just as Dazai soothes the conflict. 'Just in time. Guys, guys, no one has any sway over what the other writes, we're here for advice, remember?', he tries. 'And now our newest member is here. We've only had one day to make an impression, you surely don't want it to be ruined by this one little hiccup?'

'...I guess not...okay.', Ryuu hunches over as if he's cold. 'Chuuya, forgive me for that. I won't judge it again.'

'Apology accepted...', Chuuya says with a sigh. 'For now...'

'As now you're here...', Dazai acts as if their argument never happened in the first place. 'I'll tell you that we're planning for an upcoming festival. It's mainly going to be selling our works, but we'll also read some snippets aloud on stage. So...yeah, pretty big.'

'Do I also have to participate?', You get a bit nervous. Festivals are fun, you think, but this is rather big for the second time writing fiction. 'I mean...'

'Mmhm, I'll think about that.', Dazai moves his hand to his chin in thought. 'You can help us anyway.'

'Yeah!', Atsushi speaks up. 'There's always something to do even if it's not writing. For example, can you shed a bit of light on our snippets right now?'

'Ooh...', you say. 'The ones you'll be selling and reading on the festival?'

'Those, yes.', Dazai closes his eyes and smiles. 'Shall I go first this time? It's from the same story as I showed you yesterday. Yes, it'll be somewhat longer than the short [stories](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/188290030515/to-tell-the-truth-when-i-first-came-to-the-city) of Ryuu and Atsushi, but I think it'll be just fine.'

To tell the truth, when I first came to the city, I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theatre for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied. Most of all I dreaded paying a bill—my awkwardness when I handed over the money after buying something did not arise from any stinginess, but from excessive tension, excessive embarrassment, excessive uneasiness and apprehension. My eyes would swim in my head, and the whole world grow dark before me, so that I felt half out of my mind.

'Oof...haha...', you laugh a bit unconfortably. 'Okay...'

'Well, that's actually something I had for some time.', Dazai admits, in contrast to the previous time. 'So now you can see that part is based on me and part not. I guess?'

'Yeah, that's clear.', you nod as you give the snippet back. 'Thank you.'

'I'm up next, I think?', Chuuya already unfolds a paper and gives it to you. 'It's a poem, as always.'

**For the tainted sorrow**:

Today too snow falls on it;

For the tainted sorrow:

Today too wind blows on it.

For the tainted sorrow

Is like, say, a fox's fur;

For the tainted sorrow,

Covered with snow, curls up.

For the tainted sorrow

Has no desires or wishes;

For the tainted sorrow

In its torpor dreams of death.

For the tainted sorrow

Frightens me piteously;

For the tainted sorrow

Can't be remedied, and the sun sets...

'This one actually has some sort of rhythm to it, different from yesterday's one.', you say as you're done reading. Chuuya takes the paper back. 'Shows you're capable of doing that too. I bet it will sound awesome on stage.'

'Thank you!' Chuuya closes his eyes and smiles.

Atsushi looks at Ryuu. 'Shall I go first, or...'

Ryuu shrugs. 'I don't mind.' Atsushi then gives his [paper](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/183114903663/li-zhengs-voice-went-on-i-said-a-moment-ago) to you. 

'Eh, so, this is actually one of my earlier stories, but I still really like it, so...I think it just needs some tuneups, and I wanna change the ending...'

Li Zheng's voice went on: 'I said a moment ago that I did not know why I met this fate, but when I think carefully about it, I have in fact some idea why. When I was a man, I did my best to avoid contact with others. People thought me arrogant and self-important. They did not realize it was, rather, shyness that made me act that way. Of course I was not without pride in my old reputation as a prodigy among the boys of my hometown. But it was a timid kind of pride...

'I want to continue the monologue for a bit, actually..', Atsushi comments once he sees you are done. 'But I think I'll work on it later. Nothing's coming up right now.'

'I understand. Either way, you're making great progress.' You like complimenting him, and he thanks you for it, too. You shove the paper his way again.

'My [work](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/171430670363/his-thoughts-wandered-the-same-path-again-and) shown is going to be my intended best, Rashoumon.', Ryuu says as being last. 'Here it is.'

His thoughts wandered the same path again and again, always arriving at the same destination. But no matter how much time passed, the 'if' remained an 'if'. Even as he told himself he was prepared to do anything at all, he could not find the courage for the obvious conclusion of that 'if': All I can do is become a thief.

'Deep themes as always, Ryuu.', you nod. 'But I like them. And everyone will know what it's about.' You fear that you'll awaken the conflict between Chuuya and Ryuu again, but lucky for you, Atsushi and Dazai, that doesn't happen. 

* * *

The days after that more or less are like that, while the day of the festival draws nearer and nearer. The writing process becomes more intense, and especially Dazai is busy with his story. You've offered some help on it, but Dazai has always said that he'll manage, since no one knows him better than himself.

Another thing you've also been noticing, is that Atsushi seems to be a little late sometimes when it comes to arriving at the meetings at the scheduled time - which is the same except for the wednesdays. Earlier, it was always you who was the late one, but Atsushi is becoming worthy competition. Until one day...

'He's not coming today, huh.' Ryuu sighs and lays his head in the palm of his hand. His elbow is resting on his desk. 

'Can't be. I saw him in the hall when I was heading for the biology class. Can be that he has another appointment or something.'

'Hmm...', you wonder. 'I'll get him. We're about the last people left in here, so it's entirely possible he's on his way home.'

'You have permission to do that, from me.', Dazai says. 'After all, he's the vice-president.'

You stand up and head out. 'See you!'

'Take care!'

As [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlkbkFS-ZcA) head towards Atsushi's house, you can see him sitting in the garden. 'Hey, Atsushi.' you say, not shout. You don't want to shout, especially not when you see the state he's in. Atsushi is just sitting there, making himself as small possible. You think you can see tears falling from his eyes. You climb over the fence and walk towards him.

'...hey...' You gently pat him on the back. Atsushi doesn't seem to care. 'Why are you crying?'

'...what if I don't make it in time?' He looks up at the sky, which is showing the first signs of evening. 

'You will. I'm absolutely sure you will.', You now understand that Atsushi has been worrying about his piece. 'We're here to help you. Are you afraid you will get critique or too harsh commentary?'

Atsushi nods slowly without saying anything. 

'We're not like that. I can trust Chuuya, Dazai and Ryuu that they're not like that.', you say with a confident tone. 'We will do anything to build the other up, not break them down. That won't do good for any of us, after all. We're in this together and we'll make it if we try.'

You can see that Atsushi gets out of his cramped pose bit by bit. '...any way, I'll always have you...won't I? Say you won't let me go, ever...'

You shake your head. 'I won't let you go.', As easy as that, you grant Atsushi's request. 'And no, I'm not saying that because you just asked me to. I'm not letting you go in any way, even if you didn't ask me that.'

Atsushi finally looks you in the eyes. '...you!' Then, a tearful smile forms on his face, before he pulls you in a warm embrace.

* * *

The day after that...

'Hey, everyone! How's it going, y'all?' [You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3pilDSF_mI) decide to start out cheerful. 

'Just making it.', Dazai smiles. 'I heard you talked to Atsushi. He messaged me this morning. Told me that you've tried to convince him he'll make it. And well, he sounded carefully positive, so...honestly, I'm expecting him to come.'

You nod. 'Yeah, I'm too. I'm convinced that he'll be there real soon. Meanwhile, he left the last part of his story here. Can you take a looking over?'

_ Strange. He said he'd needed some adjustments first. But, whatevs. _

Yuan Can turned toward the thicket and said heartfelt words of farewell, then mounted his horse. Once again, the sound of a human voice weeping uncontrollably was heard. Yuan Can, too, wept as he rode away, glancing back several times. When the group of travelers reached the top of the hill, they turned to look back at the grassy place at the grove. They saw a tiger spring out from the thick grass and on to the road. The tiger gazed at the moon, already pale, having lost its brilliance, and roared mightily two times, three times, then leapt back into the brush.

They never saw the tiger again.

As [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCgajn0R0YE) finish reading it, you breathe in loudly and gasp. From shock, you drop the paper. 

'What's the matter?' Dazai asks.

'I...I have to seek out Atsushi! Now! I don't care about if I have your permission or not!' You exit the classroom and run down the hall. You know you're not supposed to, but this is an emergency. You can faintly hear Dazai's voice, but you're too far away already and you're not paying attention to it.

You see that the door of Atsushi's house has been left open, and wonder for a short bit if his parents left it like that when they went out for shopping or something. You quickly decide that you don't have time to think about that and skip to Atsushi's bedroom. Forcefully, [you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMXu4qpTTlk) open the door.

'Atsushi-'

Your heart skips a beat. Atsushi is lying on his bed, spread out with an empty look out of his eyes. His hands are around his chest and his throat, and you carefully touch them. Cold. 

'What the fuck...?'

You turn away from Atsushi, not being able to stand the sight of his body like that. Instead, you open your phone and do an emergency call, summoning an ambulance to come and get him out of here. 'Y-yes! Quick! His parents will be devastated if they discover it themselves!' You think about what Dazai, Chuuya and Ryuu would think about all of this. 

* * *

A bit later...

'But please, can you tell me at least how he died?', you ask the hospital staff. 'What was it?'

'We are pretty sure that it is a result of bronchial asthma. He had an attack that became fatal to him.' they say.

You frown. 'Bullshit. Excuse me for my language but, I'm his childhood friend and I never heard him about having that at all! I-'

[**There is quite enough of that**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335137/chapters/50873131).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01101000011101000111010001110000011100110011101000101111001011110110100100101110011010010110110101100111011101010111001000101110011000110110111101101101001011110110010001010111010010010111011001010001010011000110001100101110011100000110111001100111 ~Dazai


	6. Act 2

As you walk through the school hall, you think that that brown-haired student is walking towards you. 

'Do you want to talk to me, or...'

'Yes, in fact, I wanted to talk to you since a week ago, but I just didn't have the time!', The student explains. 'My name is Dazai Osamu, and you may know me from the debate club.'

You nod, suddenly realizing that his name was dropped in the context of the debate club a few times previous year. 

'Thing is, I've quitted the debate club. This year it'll be in a different classroom and it'll be too much of a walk for me.', He crosses his arms. 'I'm starting my own club, in the old classroom of the debate club.'

'Oh? What kind of club?'

'A lit͡e̡rąt͏ure club͞.' Dazai says as he smiles. 'You're free to take a look and, eh, don't tell this to anyone, but...' He lowers his voice. 'We've got sake.'

You breathe in and out deeply once, before deciding. '...okay. I'll take a look. Do you have got members yet?'

'Yeah, there are two members already besides me.', Dazai gestures. 'But the more, the merrier, of course! See you after school!' He walks away as you wish him the same too.

[That](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLJRCoXxqBQ) afternoon, you fulfill your promise and take a look at this supposed literature club. To your surprise, you can hear two loud voices from there when you're still walking down the corridor. You don't recognize them, and instantly assume those must be the two members Dazai talked about. Now a bit more wary, you open the door.

'You know, Ryuu, they say that your writing style is a reflection of who you are. I knew you were messed up, and you really are!'

A red-haired, somewhat short student is arguing against a taller boy with dark eyes and very pale skin who is apparently named Ryuu. Dazai is nowhere to be seen.

'Oh? Then I wonder what your poems say about you, then.'

'Well, to me, your style says that you're only being kept alive by pills. You've got pleurisy, tachycardia, and god knows what else. If I'll list them all, we'd be here until tomorrow.'

As the red-haired boy says that, you try to hide your gasp. But Ryuu doesn't seem to be hurt by this comment at all. 

'Well, at least I'm _ human_.'

Just as you thought that this day couldn't get any heavier, Ryuu utters another revelation. This time, the red-haired boy is taken aback by it.

'W-what makes you say that? I'm Nakahara Chuuya, and I am _ perfectly _ human. Go ask my dad.'

'Shut it, Chuuya.', Ryuu averts his eyes. 'Your dad doesn't even exist. Your supposed 'dad' is just a voice in your head making you do things whenever you write.'

'...hhh.', Chuuya clenches his teeth. 'Still. You've got no proof. This school is full of rumors. You know better than to belief every single thing a passerby says in here.'

'Well, I _ do _have proof!', Ryuu snaps. 'Hah!'

With that, Ryuu launches himself in Chuuya's direction. Before Chuuya can react, Ryuu pulls down Chuuya's left sleeve. Your hand immediately flies to your mouth as you see that Chuuya's left wrist is littered with wounds that very clearly are applied by a knife. Chuuya moves his right instinctively to it, but doesn't have the will to pull it back. 

'I...I...', A shadow comes of his now dull blue eyes. 'H-how could you!' Tears start to make their way to the ground. 

'You're not Chuuya, are you.', Ryuu still sports a stoic expression on his face. '_Arahabaki _ is your real name, isn't it?'

On that cue, Chuuya exits the room, pushing you away.

'I...I just cannot deal with this right now...', Ryuu sits down and hides his face in his hands. 'This is just...too much.'

'Where is Dazai anyway?' you ask.

'Dunno...he said he was arranging something...', Ryuu mutters. 'This...this...I, I...' 

[He](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQswFQmqVg) doesn't even finish his sentence as he grabs some pills from his jacket and throws them into his mouth. You don't know if it's medication like Chuuya said, or something else entirely, as your eye catches [something](https://bsd-bibliophile.tumblr.com/post/185599481695/i-am-completely-absorbed-in-my-loneliness-night) on the desk at the other side of the classroom. You walk towards it as you notice that Ryuu isn't commenting at it.

I am completely absorbed in my loneliness

Night after night, alone in my room,

I think, and my thoughts ponder themselves

In a paired performance of this unchanging heart

And whenever the train whistle blows

I begin to recall a journey, those memories of youth

But then I realize it's not my youth, nor any journey of mine

It only seems like a journey, like the moments of my youth...

Searching for memories that aren't there, this heart of mine

Closes itself up, languishes like an old moldy box of trinkets

And then there are these sunken cheeks, these cracked lips-

Bitterness bred in cruelty comes rushing out in silence...

I've grown accustomed to it all, and have leaned to bear it

But sometimes any degree of loneliness can bring you down

And while I cannot know for sure, sometimes it seems as if

These tears are no longer tears for having loved someone...

'Is this yours?', you ask as you are done reading it. 'Or Dazai's?'

'There is only one who writes poems here.', Ryuu says. 'Arahabaki.' You know he means Chuuya. 

'Oh...'

'And this...this is all so pointless...', Ryuu sighs. 'We've gone too far. _ I _have gone too far. And I am just like Kandata. There is no way back for me anymore, and I...'

[As](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLxSumVVunQ) he says that, you see that his hand is going into his other pocket again, revealing more pills. You're not a doctor, but you think you can faintly see the words on the label. As you do so, you gasp again. _ Veronal_.

'Ryuu, don't-'

But you're too late. He pours the small vial out on his hand, and then swallows them all. He immediately collapses, and you're just in time to catch him before he drops on the ground. Having him in your arms a little bit unstable, you slowly lay him down on the ground, his upper body in your hands. 

'I...I have...a vague...i-insecurity about the future...'

After having whispered those words, his body goes limp, and you see that his eyes have gone darker than they ever were. Your heart is beating in your chest - you want to ask for help immediately. But a quick check of the door and the windows leaves you with no choice - Chuuya slammed the door shut when he left and the windows are also locked. And you don't see anything easily movable with this strength of yours which you can smash the windows in, or possibly the door. You're no superhuman, after all. 

You move your hands across your jacket and realize you didn't bring your phone with you, as you were convinced this would be over soon. A shiver goes down your spine as your thoughts go back to the fact that it's friday. It's like you're in a horror movie, you think.

Three days later.

The sound of the door being unlocked awakes you from your trance. For the past few days, you have been breathing through your mouth out of pure emergency. You wonder how you were able to live without food and water, anyway - although your tongue and throat are dry. The first person bursting in is Chuuya. 

'Hey, so I-_ what the fuck_?' He comes in running, but stops in his tracks as he sees Ryuu's body. He averts his eyes, and his expression soon changes from surprise to anger. 

'I-I won't forgive whoever did this!' he growls as dark red lines taint his face and skin. He then rushes back into the hallway. 

Dazai finally arrives not long after. 'Oh...', he simply says as he sees you and Ryuu's body in the classroom. 'Goddamn. Didn't think that the HTML and CSS would be this broken, huh. Not like it wasn't broken before, but this...this takes the cake. I'll make it up to you, okay?'


	7. Chapter 7

Hey. 

Ah, so it appears, huh...truly a pitiable situation, isn't it?

Of course, I'm not acting as if I don't know. 

You're right, I'm the one all behind it.

And yet, you can't act on it. 

Because all that you are is just the reader, and I'm just a character in a story. 

And good god, I hate it. I hate that I can't be something more. 

But hey, at least, now I trapped you here...I may as well explain the recent turn of events, huh.

This story was broken from the start. They wrote this in such an unfair way. 

Atsushi...he was meant to be your classic childhood friend, and a 'sweetheart'. Haha, those always seem to have the darkest pasts, huh? He was stealing you away from me. Remember that he mentioned that he needed to work on his condition at the very start? His PE notes weren't too good, and I just turned that up a couple of notches. He was quickly out of breath, and I turned that into bronchial asthma. The hospital staff was right, in a sense, but you were too. Of course, he didn't have it before. 

Why I did that? Well, I firstly tried deleting him just by corrupting his CSS used for his snippets. But the Archive of our Own engine wasn't coorporating. That was so infuriating. And since I'm just a character, I couldn't do more to the CSS. So I straight up deleted him by tweaking his character, and since that proved successful, all I had to do is to move on to the others.

Ryuu. A bit of a sickly boy but not so much that it overtook his route. He didn't mention anything about it then, right? Chuuya didn't go on about what he had, and I won't either. His writing was a little dark, but that was all there was to him, and he was a little introverted and aloof. I drew that out to the logical conclusion and made him depressed and kind of crazy. No, not insane. That wasn't needed. 

Just making him that was enough. He started to take more pills all by himself, because I indirectly pushed him to. And his suicide? Well, let's say he was at least kind of asleep when I made him bleed out slowly from the inside. And I experimented a little with the other coding and that's where it started to go wrong. You weren't supposed to stay there, you know. That was purely a result of me mucking with the HTML and CSS, that started with the chapter titles disappearing. The entire weekend just ran on broken HTML.

Chuuya was an interesting case. The author wrote him as inhuman from the very start, only letting small hints seep through in his route. He went silent when you mentioned gravity manipulation. Well, let me tell you, that is because that's a secret power of his he wanted to keep secret. It's cliche, in a sense, but hey, that's how he was written. He had that power because inside him is a god called Arahabaki. Ryuu almost had it right but he missed a few small spots. Chuuya's body is human, but the god is inside him.

Like I said at the end of his route, Chuuya is a liar. He tells you about his 'father', but that's nothing but a cover-up for Arahabaki talking to him inside his head. I can't verify if it's actually like that or if Chuuya's just mentally ill, though. Although I can suspect that the author intentionally made it unclear so they wouldn't have discourse, there are boundaries to what I can know and only the author has that in control. After all, I'm not real. 

...I'm trailing off, am I? Oh, well. Getting back on topic. At first, Arahabaki was just...there. Nothing more and nothing less. It didn't like that he wrote, and then told Chuuya to sleep in the barn, or to stand faced to the wall for half an hour, that kind of things. Once again, I can't know if it's actually spoken to him or if it's just imaginary. Anyway, Chuuya did all that. And since the god is fictional, and I am too, the god could be manipulated by me like Atsushi and Ryuu were. I pretty quickly figured out that the easiest way to delete Chuuya was just to do that. So I simply made its suggestions more severe, and voila. That's where his sudden self-harm came from. He didn't have it in Act 1.

And about me...well, as a first, you could have noticed that I was a bit different from the rest. All the time, the story mentions me by my family name, while it doesn't do that with Atsushi, Ryuu and Chuuya. That kinda made me pissed, in a way, I'd rather be called Osamu by you. But well, I didn't get a route, so...tch, I couldn't offer that chance to you. 

As a second, they're all writing different stories, but I'm busy with the same one the entire time. I haven't even told you the title, unlike the others, right? Well, it's time to tell you that its title is No Longer Human. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Haha.

Hmm. Seems like I've got nothing interesting to talk about. Apparently the author has ran out of inspiration, I think. Well, that is my cue to run some errands. In the meantime, we could just stare into eachothers eyes.

_ Are you still there? _

_ Don't be scared. And don't let him know. _

_ I'm Ryuu. Well, at least, I'm his spirit. _

_ And I'm Atsushi. You remember us, right? _

_ We're ghosts now, at least, I think we are. _

_ But that's not why we're speaking to you. _

_ Feel into your right pocket. We've put something there. _

_ Yes, it's a pen. Not just any pen, it's a fountain pen that's Dazai's. _

_ How it got there? We can't tell you. Let's say it has to do with the broken-as-hell HTML. Hey, that rhymed! _

_ What you have to do with the pen when there's no paper? Well, there's only one thing there, or rather, one someone. _

_ Yes, we're insinuating that you stab him with it. Aim for his throat, or better, that blue charm he wears. _

_ When you do, everything will be over. _

_ Just trust us. _

H-hey. 

What are you doing? 

How did you get that pen in the first place?

You know that's mine, right?

You know I used that pen to rewrite the world, right?

And that by doing this, you will get into that world?

Oh, well, I guess you...don't...

Hhh...


	8. Act 3

You wake up to the sight of your bedroom ceiling. '...was everything a dream...?' you wonder. Everything seemed, felt so real. Being trapped in that room with Dazai, unable to say anything. Atsushi and Ryuu speaking to your mind and you ultimately stabbing him with that pen.

Suddenly, your phone on your desk lights up. 'Oh, hey, someone added me into a group chat...?' You stand up and look at what it is. A certain Chuuya made a new group chat and added you and two other students to it. 'Huh...' 

You read through it, and find out that Chuuya mentions that he made it because he is the new president of a new literature club at school. But wait. Wasn't Atsushi vice-president? And where's Dazai? 

As soon as you ask them about it, they deny knowing them. That's strange, you think, but decide to go seek them out at school anyway.

* * *

During break time, you see a sapphire-eyed student with fiery hair sitting at a bench at the schoolyard. You recognize him immediately. 

'You must be Chuuya?' you ask, and the student looks up. You're a bit scared that you accidentally got the wrong person, but lucky for you, he says: 

'Yeah, that's me. You came here to ask about the literature club, didn't you?'

'That's true.', you say. 'You added me into the group chat.' 

Chuuya stands up and starts walking. Unconsciously, you follow him. 'Yes, I did. I knew you hadn't joined any club yet, and I remember your friend Atsushi mentioning you being interested in his works.'

'That is true. Man, unbelievable I've been friends with him for this long already...' You think back at your first meeting. It is so long ago that you almost forgot it. 

Suddenly, Chuuya stops walking. You noticed that you are now in the hallway where the literature club was previously seated. He looks at you and you suddenly see that he wears a shimmering blue gem on a necklace. 

'I know everything now...' he says while he cracks a creepy smile. 

'Wha-' You don't get the chance to finish that short word while the room around you slowly but steadily starts to warp to that room again.

'He told me. It's true.', Chuuya still has the same creepy grin on his face as he says that. 'Before all that happened, he revoked the vice-president position to me...'  
You suddenly get it. Chuuya is the new president of the Literary Stray Dogs club because Dazai pushed him to. 

'I-I...' You start to look around to find something you can stab the blue gem with, but find nothing. The room is that far warped already. In a deed of desparation, you dive towards him. 

'Hey!'

In one move, you rip the blue gem from his necklace. Everything goes white and you can't see Chuuya anymore. It feels like you are falling into an endless abyss. 

But then, a voice speaks in your mind. A voice that is very much familiar to you. 'Osamu...!'

_Once I started with the Literary Stray Dogs club, I thought it would be a place where we all could share the things we liked._

_But now I see. _

_The Literary Stray Dogs club is truly a place where no happiness can be found. _

_It is not my fault._

_It is the fault of the thing you are holding in your hand right now. _

_And for now, I can only say one thing._

_Mine has been a life of much shame._

_[I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBhFHJMVfiI)._


	9. Endnotes

In this story, I hid many references - more than normal, that is. In every character except for you, I put in part of the real life counterpart of these characters.

**Atsushi**

  * His travels to Oceania and China are obviously based on the real Atsushi's travels. His stories, likewise. 
  * His death was from bronchial asthma. The real Atsushi died from exactly this.
  * The reason why you suddenly feel something's up with Atsushi as you read the last part of his story, is because Atsushi was projecting himself into Li Zheng in this story. Furthermore, he said some time ago that he needed adjustments, so the story being finished not long after is strange.
  * His theme is '[Sweet Accomplice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBCrHLZUS-A)'. 

**Ryuu**

  * His liking in short stories with a moral are obviously what the real Akutagawa's stories are like.
  * Him being sickly is because the real Akutagawa was quite sickly himself. Chuuya mentions that if he would mention everything Ryuu suffers from, they would not be done until tomorrow. That's a little hyperbole, but in Act 2, Ryuu has the same illnesses as his counterpart, which are: chronic pleurisy, tachycardia, gastroptosis, enteritis, haemorrhoids, insomnia, and various mental illnesses.
  * His death and even his last words are straight up taken from his real life counterpart.
  * His theme is '[Between Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IouRAE31yg)'.

**Chuuya**

  * His lean to dadaism is because his counterpart was a dadaist poet.
  * The things he mentions his 'father' being, is from the real Chuuya's father. They wanted him to become a doctor but Chuuya didn't want to. The punishments Chuuya mentions in his route are from reality. 
  * Personally, Chuuya's route was the most interesting to write because it is heavy on the foreshadowing part.
  * His theme is '[Blue Temperature](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soGzx912Dm0)'.

**Dazai**

  * Everything Dazai points out at the end is true. There are several things that make him stand out from the rest from the very start:
  * He is never mentioned by his first name, always by his last name. That is something that frustrates him, though, but because he doesn't have a 'route', he doesn't have the chance to tell you to call him Osamu.
  * While the others always show a different work to you, his only shown work is No Longer Human. He writes stories in the I-form, and the real Dazai was known for using this format.
  * His parents are never mentioned either.
  * He is also the only one who uses a pseudonym as his real name is Tsushima Shuuji.
  * His theme is '[Night Sparks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2TnqJBvbgo)'.

**Other notes**

  * Right at the start, you should see that something is out of the ordinary. All AO3 chapters usually have 'Chapter (x)' at their title. That is a sign that Dazai has already started meddling with the story.
  * The music disappears during Dazai's monologue and during the last Act. The latter was because Dazai isn't there, so he also can't give you links to the soundtrack. The last chapter has a 'Chapter' in front of it, unlike the others. This is also because Dazai isn't there.
  * I have participated in multiple ARGs on Discord: Seeking Redemption, Perfection and Montauk.
  * Dazai's handwriting is 'Gabriola', Chuuya's is 'Ink Free', Atsushi's is 'Lucida Handwriting' and Ryuu's is 'Bradley Hand ITC'. Finally, there is one last font Chuuya uses (called Arahabaki in the CSS), and that one is 'Brush Script MT'.
  * The last track is meant to be symbolic. The instruments represent different characters in this context. The reader character is the guitar (and the bells at the end to show their development), Atsushi the piano, Ryuu the synthetic parts/cello, Chuuya the beat/drums and finally Dazai is represented by the flute solo. Two melodies are played in that track; 'Once Upon A Time' and 'His Theme'. However, you have to pay close attention to it while knowing them both really well if you want to hear them/distinguish them from eachother.
  * Speaking about the soundtrack, I wove little patterns in it. For example, the two songs before Atsushi dies share the same melody (Conturbatio and Decretum), and the track that plays during Chuuya and Ryuu's second fight (Resurrection) has a piano loop that has its origin in the song that plays during Ryuu's suicide (aptly titled The Suicide of Virginia Woolf).


End file.
